Excuses for not dating someone christian connection dating review
After a period of dating in the real world (versus the evangelical bubble), I noticed something peculiar. It pains me to admit this, but I am just as guilty of “swiping left” on a dude for no good reason. For a long time, I justified it as innocent preference too. It was a shitty, racist limit designed to keep things simple because I assumed dating other races would be more complicated.
Secular folks have extensive wishlists too, but they don’t call them kingfish lists. But then it gets a little murkier when we look at the preferences which exclude, exploit, or fetishize marginalized people. I thought that being attracted to only white or Asian men wasn’t problematic at all. But I was completely ignoring the fact that there are real human beings on the other PC.
Knowing that men were judging me because of my body led me to reconsider how attached value to a potential mate for traits beyond anyone's control.
I have lipedema, which gives me enormous legs, but I am far from the only marginalized body type. And physical handicaps are reflected in the media when we look at “eligible singles” or #relationshipgoals.
Instead, they limit our options with arbitrary conditions.
It can even attract us to the wrong kind of person altogether.
Coming out as transgender is frightening and even dangerous, partly because people have preferences which say, “I only date women.” But such preferences are all about that person’s own sexual insecurities — not the trans person’s identity.
Isn’t that the boxes, but by the time the relationship ended, you couldn’t even stand them anymore. why close yourself off from possibilities to find it?Plenty of white people claim they’re not racist, and then make note of their various friends who happen to . I could be missing out on someone amazing because I had a racial prejudice in my heart.And it’s a preference I think I finally “got over,” thankfully.The whole thing was rooted in patriarchy, courtship, and the notion that your kingfish list would prevent you from “wasting time” dating the wrong people. You know, back when I had no clue what a healthy relationship even entailed.And I don’t exactly remember what attributes that list (or any of its successors) included.
Other body types also get objectified and “esteemed” for little more than a fetish. We all want to be loved, accepted, and valued for who we are and not who you think we should be.