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And when I scroll through Grindr’s grid of faceless torsos, I find myself only messaging guys with complexions lighter than a paper bag.Even in person, when I’m trying to muster up the courage to talk to a cute guy, I first wonder if he’s "into black guys." I hate myself for even having to contemplate these things, and I’m now left asking myself: And the more I think about it, the more complicated the answer seems. The only gay people I saw in the media were white, and the few Black queer celebrities that I knew of, like Wanda Sykes and Michael Sam, were in interracial relationships.No matter what type of person you are looking for, be it a black single in New York or a black single in Chicago, chances are you will find that type of person on e Harmony.
I never had the chance to speak to either one while they were alive, but I often wonder what advice or mentorship they could have provided me as a young Black gay male coming of age in such a sheltered environment.My childhood in the Black church led me to believe that Black people were inherently homophobic — a myth — and that the only Black men who were gay were on the down low or infected with HIV — also a myth.Within my own family, I had two gay uncles who died of AIDS-related illnesses before I was 10.While I may flirt or develop friendships with other Black gay men, I’ve never seriously pursued a relationship with one.When I’m on Tinder, the men I’m more likely to swipe right are usually athletic white men between 21 and 30.
All of this has shed a glaring light on my internal struggle.