Pastor dating sites
Recently, I was invited to participate in a panel on singleness at a Christian conference.
I shared my experience as a single woman pastor and how single clergy can feel isolated in a church culture where marriage is the default.
It was the first time since university that I had an honest, direct, public conversation about singleness in the church.
We hear countless sermons about marriage, but singleness is not often addressed publicly in Christian communities.
It is a well-meaning sentiment, but it sounds like you are saying my life won’t start until I am married. Not because I do not want to be married, but because someone might not want to marry me.
I might never meet and fall in love with someone willing and able to integrate their life with my life as a local church pastor.
And, when single folks choose to share with you, affirm their feelings.
If they tell you that they are lonely, mourn with them.
The good news is that my district leadership has adopted a posture of listening, and they’re working to acknowledge and welcome single pastors.
Data on single women pastors is virtually non-existent.
But how can we hope to care for single pastors if our stories aren’t being told or represented in the church’s narrative?
If they tell you that they are loving their independence, celebrate with them.
Do not overwrite single people’s experiences with your own expectations and stereotypes.
Do not assume you know how single folks feel or what they need to hear about their singleness.