Talking your kids dating after divorce
Dating after divorce - even the words fill some divorced parents with dread.
The idea of getting back into the dating scene after years being married is daunting at best.
We "dated" in junior high and high school, so becoming reacquainted via the miraculous Internet at 35 was actually pretty easy (even if it was over several hundred miles).
Matt is the first and last person I dated, and since I didn't really want to be single (I just didn't want to be married to my ex), we wasted no time getting serious. It may take hold of you with both hands in a grip so tight you can't, and don't want to try to, escape it.
I'm wondering how you feel about that." Since your teens are also likely dating, it is important to talk with them about how it may be awkward to have a parent dating at the same time. How will my children be affected by my decision to date?Marriage has a way of allowing you to become a bit, shall we say, soft. Maybe if you've had a few kids you have some saggy bits. Love really is pretty blind, and the right person won't give two shakes about your stretch marks. I know this because I waited a long time to be with someone I really wanted to sit with at dinner and lay with at night and raise a family with.The first time I disrobed in front of Matt, who hadn't ever seen any woman who had three kids naked, let alone I was nervous, and it took a while before I stopped sucking in my gut. But those issues were mine, not his, and eventually they dissipated. Just know that children have literally zero desire to have the existing parent "replaced." Even if you would sooner see your ex disappear into the Bermuda Triangle, your children are unlikely to share this sentiment. And we try to talk as a group when things aren't going well. Slandering your ex will only make your children hate you, and the new partner as well. There were some rocky points along the way, but we made it.Children are naturally competitive, especially when it comes to their parent's attentions. In fact, even big cities can feel pretty small in these situations. Your children may not want to share the spotlight, and that may never change.
Know yourself, know your children and ask yourself this key question: Is this a decision I think is best for my children, or am I reacting out of guilt or fear?